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By Mom Unplugged, February 21, 2008 3:31 pm

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On NPR’s Morning Edition this morning was a VERY interesting story (“Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills“) about how children’s play has changed in the last century. Instead of engaging in self-directed, imaginative, improvised play, play has become centered around toys and the latest movie or TV show: “Essentially, instead of playing pirate with a tree branch” they play “Star Wars with a toy light saber.”

Commercialization is only partly to blame, as child safety has become more of a concern in recent years. Parents are now more reluctant to let their children run loose around the neighborhood. They enroll kids in structured, adult-lead activities.

This change in play-habits has actually changed children’s brains according to researchers. Imaginative play helps kids develop what is known as “executive function,” which is a cognitive skill necessary for self-regulation (controlling emotions and behavior, resisting impulses, and exercising self-control and discipline).

Read this interesting excerpt from the NPR piece:

We know that children’s capacity for self-regulation has diminished. A recent study replicated a study of self-regulation first done in the late 1940s, in which psychological researchers asked kids ages 3, 5 and 7 to do a number of exercises. One of those exercises included standing perfectly still without moving. The 3-year-olds couldn’t stand still at all, the 5-year-olds could do it for about three minutes, and the 7-year-olds could stand pretty much as long as the researchers asked. In 2001, researchers repeated this experiment. But, psychologist Elena Bodrova at the National Institute for Early Education Research says, the results were very different.

“Today’s 5-year-olds were acting at the level of 3-year-olds 60 years ago, and today’s 7-year-olds were barely approaching the level of a 5-year-old 60 years ago,” Bodrova explains. “So the results were very sad.”

According to executive function researcher, Laura Berk: “Self-regulation predicts effective development in virtually every domain.” In fact, good executive function is a more reliable predictor of success in school than IQ. Poor executive function leads to high dropout rates, drug use, and crime. Of course there must be a middle ground here, but the better a child’s ability to self-regulate, the better they will perform in school, and in life.

So here is yet another reason to turn off the TV, ignore the terrible whines, agonizing howls of boredom and claims of inhumane parental treatment and see what happens. They just might surprise you with the games they come up with on their own. And…they will be improving their executive function skills!

I urge you to listen to this fascinating NPR piece (7 min 50 sec), or at least read the online transcript.

+ Some suggestions for activities that promote self-regulation:

(from researchers Deborah Leong, professor of psychology at Metropolitan State College of Denver, Elena Bodrova, senior researcher with Mid-Continent Research for Education and Learning, and Laura Berk, professor of psychology at Illinois State University, found on the transcript page of the NPR website):

- Play “Simon Says”

- Encourage “complex imaginative play” (child plans and acts out scenarios, invents own props, etc. Best if play lasts for several hours)

- Activities that require planning (the examples given are: games with directions, patterns for construction, recipes for cooking)

- Read storybooks with your children

- Encourage children to talk to themselves (“fosters concentration, effort, problem-solving, and task success”)

+ A related Unplug Your Kids post: Let Your Kids be Bored

(Photo (taken in Madagascar) courtesy of Wikimedia Commons and photographer Harald Kreutzer.)

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By Mom Unplugged, February 9, 2008 5:13 pm

A sports post??? From Mom Unplugged? Has the Earth tilted on its axis? Do pigs now request landing clearances from the control tower?

At the conclusion of last Sunday’s Superbowl I received two phone calls within 30 seconds of one another (I have call waiting), both to announce the news of the NY Giants’ unexpected victory over the New England Patriots.

Having no TV and less than no interest in football, nonetheless even I knew who was playing and who was supposed to win. So…lesson number 1: just because you are TV-free doesn’t necessarily mean that you are uninformed (although sometimes it does).

The first call was from my sister, who also normally prefers the Puppy Bowl to the Superbowl. The second was from my husband who had urgent business to attend to in Albuquerque last weekend and stayed at his house there instead of coming to Arizona. I wonder….could the “urgent business” have had anything to do with the fact that the Superbowl was on and I have no TV? Hmmm…..

Both of them were wildly excited about the upset and said it was the most exciting football game they had ever seen which, in my sister’s case, doesn’t mean a whole lot, but in my husband’s case it does.

On to lesson number 2: Obviously, New England was feeling cocky and far too sure of themselves, therefore they lost (Annotation: this expert opinion is coming from me who knows very little about football and didn’t even see the game).

What a life lesson! How do we teach our children self-esteem and confidence, yet also ensure that they develop humility and perspective?

This is a tricky balance indeed. I do believe that there is a recent trend toward the creation of over-entitled children and young adults who are incapable of accepting any responsibility for their actions. Why this is, I am not entirely sure, but it is one of those big parenting issues that I ponder regularly.

I am trying to come up with a strategy for encouraging self-confidence, yet thoughtfulness, humility, and perspective in my children. My kids are still young, so many of these ideas are plans for later years, but I have come up with a few things that I am hoping will help my children achieve this delicate balance:

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+ Have them work a “real job” as soon as they are old enough. If you are afraid of work interfering with academics, then at least encourage a summer job.

+ Let them find and apply for their own job. Try not to interfere. That way the success, or lack of success, of their choice is their responsibility and not yours.

+ Before they are old enough for a “real” job, have them babysit, mow lawns, shovel snow, sell lemonade…anything! The point is to encourage them to learn to earn and save money.

(More thoughts on kids and work coming in a new post soon!).

+ Have them save and pay for their own “extras.” (One tangential note: TV-free kids are exposed to far less marketing than kids who watch TV, so their list of “must-haves” tends to be shorter.)

+ Give them chores at home. Even at a very young age, children are capable of doing something to help out. Personally I don’t believe in paying for chores since this just leads to a bargaining battle if you ask them to do anything extra (“But how much will you pay me to empty the dishwasher today?”). I feel that chores are simply part of living in a household and should not be remunerated. DO let them know however, that you appreciate their chores and how much their work helps you and the other members of the family.

+ Encourage volunteer work. Volunteering yourself is the best way to get them interested in volunteering. Volunteering (and working) can introduce them to people they would never normally encounter. I think it is important for children to actually see that there are people less fortunate then themselves. This is a hard concept for a child to absorb without actually experiencing it himself, and it is a big step towards developing compassion and a desire to help others.

+ Teach kids about different charities and what they do. Have them contribute part of their allowance or savings to the charity of their choice, or start a Candy Bank to earn money for charity. Here is a good book that we have about kid-friendly charities:

+ Buy books about other countries of the world. Books can be a wonderful starting point for discussions that help children understand how people live in other countries. Here are some good ones:

For more book suggestions, please read my International Children’s Book Day post.

+ If possible, travel internationally.

+ Teach kids a skill that they can later teach to or share with others. Knitting, crochet, french knitting (aka. knitting mushroom), or of course a musical instrument are all good ones. Sharing something that we are good at instills confidence and feels good to all concerned.

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How interesting that a sports event has actually inspired me to examine life! Perhaps pigs really can fly after all.

PS. Any regular readers might notice that I have mentioned these books a few times before. I don’t mean to be boring, but I feel they are such a fascinating and valuable addition to any home library. Plus they just seem to “fit” with a lot of things that I write about.

Photo (NOT of the Superbowl) thanks to Wikimedia Commons and photographer Cpl. Michelle M. Dickson.

Comments (11)

By Mom Unplugged, December 3, 2007 7:52 pm

I have already written my “making a list” post, but that was not about a “kid kind of list.” I have not discussed what to do about kids’ lists because I always take the lame way out and DON’T ASK my kids what they want for Christmas, and have never told them that they could even write to Santa and ask for things. “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” right? If it works for the military, it works for me.

Without TV, kids don’t necessarily know about these lists and “cool toys,” but they do pick up an amazing amount of information on the playground, so I think the Christmas list issue might come up soon.

I honestly had not thought about the whole Christmas list dilemma until I read this post at Outside the (Toy) Box. What do you do when your kids want Sponge Bob Cyber-Slime 3D-Goggles and a Disney Jasmine Nail Glitter and Flavored Lip Gloss Set for Christmas? How do you give a child that magic “…moment where the clouds part and the angels sing when she looks under the tree…” and still be true to your (and hopefully ultimately their) values?

I think “Mom” is BRILLIANT!!! She has come up with the ideal solution in my mind. She suspects that rather than “Genius,” she might be a “Mistress of Manipulation” or a “Spineless Sell-Out,” but I vote for “Genius.”

For her four year-old she created a poster with cutouts of different toys that her daughter could request from Santa. Please read her very funny post.

To expand on her idea, I suppose you could choose catalogs that contain 100% toys that you approve of and let kids pick from those. Of course perhaps you still ought to edit a bit. Like those $200 wooden play stands? Just cut them out with scissors if you want! Any queries from the small fry regarding the holes in the pages? Well…maybe Santa has some things that are “out of stock” too. After all, magic only goes so far.

There are some great stores out there that do offer print catalogs. I would suggest:

Back to Basics Toys
Rosie Hippos
Nova Natural
Chinaberry (WONDERFUL catalog, but mostly books, so good to give to readers for picking gifts, but there are a few toys and games too)
Callie’s Corner
Culture for Kids (lots of books but videos, music and other items too)
For Small Hands
Montessori N’Such
Palumba
The Wooden Wagon

Good luck!

Photo thanks to morguefile.com and photographer Mike Rash.